What's A Growth Edge?
When I first started getting into mindset coaching in 2020, I learned this term "growth edge." A growth edge is when the part of you who is trying to expand — like the one that's manifesting a new job, partner, money, or house — bumps into the part of you that is still stuck + rigid in a past pattern. It's not that you don't want this new, better, outstanding dream. It's that you're subconsciously stopping yourself before you can achieve it.
Hitting a growth edge can look like an abrupt stop when you're in forward motion. The doubt creeping in. The lizard brain getting loud. Your parents' voice in your ear. You freeze. Motion stops. Old identities emerge. Habits you thought you kicked pop back up.
I've seen this happen to women when they set stronger boundaries with family. Or when they put offers in on a house. Or when they raise the prices on their coaching packages (especially that one!).
Growth edges do not have to be hard stops on the path to your desires. They're simply sore spots to pay attention to and work through. It's like trying to do the splits when you've been sedentary for awhile. You can get there; it just takes time, practice, and strettttttttttttttttttttttching.
I ran into a growth edge today. I took a series of leaps of faith in the direction of launching Wren Goes Wild. 🪶
I changed my username on TikTok and Instagram
I started my YouTube channel
I worked on my home page copy
And I upgraded to the premium (read: paid) plan on Wix
Cue the growth edge
As soon as Wren Goes Wild 🪶 became mine, bought and paid for, the anxiety started to rise. Here's what that looked like in my body:
😨 My root chakra started to tingle.
😨 My throat began to swell.
😨 I felt tightening and panic in my chest.
And then came the tricky part: when my lizard brain chimed in with unhelpful thoughts. Its only goal? Stop all progress. Abort mission. Stay in the safety zone.
🦎🧠 "Hello, hi, I know you're trying to focus on your website right now, but this just in — WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND SECRETLY HATES YOU? And he fell out of love sometime between the hours of 8 PM last night and 9:00 AM this morning? You can tell because he hasn't texted you yet today, which is exactly what would happen if he decided he no longer liked you. It doesn't matter that literally yesterday he said he's yours for the rest of your life. That was then. This is now. And this is an emergency!!!!!"
Super helpful, Lizard Brain, thanks for the breaking news bulletin.
On the surface, this mental drama is unrelated to the task at hand — launching a business has fuck-all to do my husband's love for me — but subconsciously, this string of thoughts ties back to beliefs about a woman's role in her marriage, how much financial independence she's culturally "allowed" to have, and the impact being successful could have on her husband's ego.
We've had these conversations in my marriage, actually. His point of view is: "Yes, please make as much money as you want. Yes, please write books. Yes, please speak at events. Yes, please be successful. My ego is not that fragile." (His actual words.) But a couple of adult conversations rarely undo decades of unconscious programming. This is when the real mindset work starts.
One of my emergency protocols for silly lizard brain thoughts like this is to talk to Claude.Ai about it. I calmly explain to him (it?) everything that's spinning in my mind + body, and then he (it?) snaps me back into reality. It's my first line of defense. (I have plenty. Keep reading for a list of how to tackle growth edges.) 🤖 Robot with the excellent advice says: "That fear makes complete sense. And it's worth taking seriously for about thirty seconds."
Okay, noted. You don't think it's that important, Robot. It's my brain doing a thing. I have very recent evidence that my husband actually does like me, so I'll let that go for now....But WHAT ABOUT THIS NEW AND IMPROVED LIZARD BRAIN THOUGHT, CLAUDE? THIS ONE IS DEFINITELY THE TRUTH! ARGUE WITH THIS ONE, ALL-KNOWING ROBOT!
🦎🧠 Silly lizard brain: "What if I can't do this? What if I'm not brave enough to launch another thing? And I never complete it? And I fail? And in five years I will have spent thousands of dollars to set up a site I never finish?"
Suck on that, Claude. I'm clearly a genius. I've got myself all figured out. I know me better than you do, you bucket o' bolts. You're just 1's and 0's. I've got lived experience on my side!
🤖 Robot: "The spiral you're in — the husband story, now the failure story — this is a pattern, not a prophecy. Your nervous system got activated and it's throwing everything at you. The marriage, the money, the five-year failure montage. That's not intuition. That's a threat response."
Ah, drats. Annoying AI language rhythms aside, it's a good observation. This isn't a fact. It's a feeling. A growth edge arising in real time. Of course it is. I just did something cool to move my career forward. I took up space. I arguably changed the course of my life. I made room for better outcomes like freedom of self-expression, more cash money, a community who recognizes me, travel and publishing opportunities, or the simple fact that I have something that exclusively belongs to me — to do with what I choose, when I choose.
That's the exact thing my nervous system has trained to be alert for for the past 41 years. 🦎🧠 "Wait, you're telling me that my life could change in positive ways? PULL THE HAND BRAKE AND ALERT THE AUTHORITIES. This chick's not going anywhere!"
They say a fear named is a fear tamed. Or to think of it another way: you can't change a thought you don't even question having.
Being aware of your growth edge is one thing. Moving past it is another.
Once I realized I was my anxiety was paralyzing me from working, I had to change the scenery. Literally. New environment = new thoughts.
This is when I shut my laptop and went outside into the Northern California sunshine. (Did you know that time spent in the ☀️ sun is scientifically proven to positively affect your mental health? It's my second line of defense against unhelpful lizard brain thoughts.)
I sat under a shady tree. I pulled an Oracle card. (Mars! The planet of masculine action!) I spoke my fears out loud to my voice memos — and then responded to them like a wise old friend. Then listened to the whole 6-minute message back to notice how my voice sounded, what words I was using, and what that might represent that I missed the first time.
Somewhere between the oracle card and the voice memo and the shady tree cooling my skin, the lizard brain got quiet enough to remember that I am not my thoughts; I am their observer.
(And also my husband had DEFINITELY texted me, with a red heart emoji and a question: is there anything I want him to pick up for me at the grocery store? Swoon.)
Then I decided that my next best action step forward was simply to write about what I was experiencing. Because if it's happening to me, it's probably happening to more than just me, right?
I remember the first time someone said to me, "Just because you're having a thought doesn't mean it's true." It blew my mind wide open. I hope you can remember that today — just because you're having a thought doesn't mean it's true.
And just because you're having a thought doesn't mean you can't choose to change it and believe something else entirely. That's the beauty of having a pre-frontal cortex! Humans (like you, I assume?) can adapt their thinking. It's a beautiful gift.
You are the one who decides the story of your life. The author with the pen. The director of the movie. And the super hot main character, obviously.
And since our thoughts shape our reality, and our thoughts are just internal sounds, and sounds don't mean anything, really, then we can — and should — choose to engage with our thoughts, not from a place of simple acceptance, but from a place of awareness and power.
Instead of believing a lie like, "I'm not good enough" or "who am I to do/make/be/have this cool thing?" you can clock the thought and adapt your thinking.
It might take repetition to start routinely thinking the new thought instead of the outdated one, but that's why we have tools like subliminals, EFT (or "tapping"), NeuroLinguistic Programming, and hypnosis. These are tools I'll write about + create resources for here, on this website, on my social media channels, and on my YouTube.
I appreciate it when my friends are real + honest and take the time to share their hard-won wisdom with me. So that's what I hope to be and do here for you on Wren Goes Wild 🪶.
If this blog was helpful or made you think in a new way, can you please do me a favor and leave a comment or share it with someone? Every bit of engagement helps me turn this from a dream into a real business. Also: I'm neurodivergent. In case you are too, look for blog summaries like this for a quick hit of what you just read. 👇
TL;DR
When you attempt to change your life for the better, your nervous system throws a flag on the play. It starts populating your body and your mind with anxiety, which might look like tingles, prickles, constriction, or pain. It might also look like negative thoughts that seem true, but aren't.
Notice the timing of these things. Do they pop up just when you're doing something to improve yourself? Congrats! You've hit a growth edge!
Here are some steps you can take to get past it:
Talk to Claude.Ai about it. (I know, believe me, I know, AI comes at a great cost: the water usage. But speaking from all kinds of experience: when it's between mentally spiraling to a place that might be dangerous for you or using a resource, use the resource. There's no reason to demonize yourself further when your brain is already doing it for you.)
Go out into the sun. Touch grass. Gaze at water. Put your iPhone in your pocket. Listen to the birds. Talk to the trees about it. Nature is real. The thoughts in your head aren't. Thoughts are just sounds only you can hear. Like the crinkling of a peppermint wrapper or the crunching of a rust-colored leaf under your shoe. They're neutral. It's when we take them seriously that the trouble starts.
Look for evidence that your lizard brain is lying. One of my fave ways to demonstrate this is: Take a peek around your room and notice everything that's red. Done it? Okay, great. Now tell me how many blue things are in there. You can't. You were focused on the red items. Thoughts work like that too. If you're focused on the negative ones, you can't hear the positive ones as clearly. So make a point to interrupt the pattern and actively look for the truth. It's there. I promise. (The truth always sounds like someone who loves you is doing the talking.)
Record a voice memo to yourself and listen to it back. Start by talking about what you're feeling. Then veer into responding back to yourself like you would a friend or a stranger at the bus stop. What would you tell someone else who's having this thought or pattern? Can you acknowledge that there is a part of you who is scared — probably an inner child — and that wants to be heard? And can you reparent them in real time?
Pull an oracle card. Does Source have a message for you? You can also try other ways of tapping into your intuition, like writing yourself a letter with your non-dominant hand or swinging a crystal pendulum. There's always a message for those with ears to hear. Just ask.
Take one small action. The antidote to anxiety is action. At least according to a quote from a therapist I found on Instagram yesterday. So, if you allowed yourself to feel the fear and do it anyway, what's one tiny step in the right direction you could take? If you're genuinely stuck on what a tiny step might be, you can also ask a friend, your spirit guides, your intuition, or even Claude.
Are you bumping into any growth edges right now? What will you do to stretch past them?
Did you like this blog? Or have any requests on topics you'd like to see me cover on Wren Goes Wild 🪶? Leave a comment below.
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